


If you can see the beast you made of me

by Nachsie



Series: I'm NOT your boyfriend! [43]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alpha Castiel, Alpha Sam, Alpha Sam Winchester, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mpeg, Omega Dean, Omega Dean Winchester, Omega Gabriel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-28
Updated: 2016-05-28
Packaged: 2018-07-10 15:49:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6992098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nachsie/pseuds/Nachsie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean's been having a lot going on lately. Sam's not doing okay from Gabriel's break up, and Dean's worried. He knows if they can just talk it can make this better. Even if it's just a face to face goodbye. It might make this more...finalized. Sam's not the only thing on Dean's plate. Especially with Castiel acting so weird. Somethings off and...Dean's not sure if he wants to know why.</p><p> </p><p>Pregnancy: one month and two weeks</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>AN//: Make sure you read the others, there are FORTY TWO of them, or you will be so terribly lost. ))</p>
            </blockquote>





	If you can see the beast you made of me

**Author's Note:**

>   
> 

Sam slid his hands through his hair as he washed his face in the sink, he could hear the twins’ loud voices. It was hard getting ready by himself, he hated to ask, but every morning Castiel or Dean was there to greet him. Mostly Castiel despite Dean’s protests, both of them stating it was just until he heals from his back surgery. It had been at least two weeks since he last saw gabriel, and he was starting to...

“Sam.” Dean’s voice made him turn, Sam turned and looked at the omega who was standing in the doorway looking at him. Dean was worried again. His face and the way he held himself said the words he didn’t say. 

“You rang?” Sam joked ringing the bell Castiel and Dean had got him. Dean blinked at him. He didn’t laugh. Sam thought it was funny. 

“What are you doing out of bed? You’re suppose to ring if you needed something.” Dean stated moving to push the wheelchair. 

“I didn’t need anything.” Sam objected. 

“You got out of bed for a reason.” Dean sighed. “You are just trying to rip out your stitches, aren’t you?” 

“Heaven forbid, suicidal tendencies.” Sam joked, however Dean just stopped and moved to him. Okay, he really really really needed to lay off the dark jokes while Dean was super sensitive. 

“Sam. You’ll walk again. I know it and...gabriel is no reason to want to end your life or ruin your chances of walking by being stubborn and injuring yourself by getting out of bed without help.” Dean breathed rubbing his hand up and down Sam’s arm. 

“I’m not suicidal.” Sam sighed. “And I was kidding. Seriously. I’m okay with Gabriel being gone.” Sam spoke but Dean just looked at him with more worry. 

“....Not talking about it will just make it harder.” Dean breathed, as Sam rolled his eyes in annoyance moving away from him. 

“Dean. I’m not you, where you were devastated when Castiel left or broke up with you.” Sam breathed. “We are two different people, We laugh differently, love differently and...hurt differently.” Sam sucked in air at it. “...Gabriel made his choice and I respect him...for not dragging this...dead end relationship on.”

“Sam-” Dean stood, as Sam turned in his wheelchair.

“No Dean. There’s no ‘and thens’ Dean. I’m not fighting for a relationship that the other doesn’t want! I got the FUCKING hint when he FUCKING left!” Sam scoffed angrily shoving the nightstand over shattering glass. “I DID my crying! What would be the point in dragging that on?! I’m over it! I’m over Gabriel! I’m over never walking again-And DON’T say I will walk again! It’s bullshit and we both know it! **YOU JUST NEED TO MIND YOUR OWN DAMN BUSINESS AND FUCKING DROP IT-!** ” 

“ **SAM ENOUGH!** ” Castiel’s alpha voice made Sam turn to look at him, as Dean shook at his anger, his voice. He alpha voice he didn’t realize he was using. Castiel had moved in front of Dean out of basic instinct, as the twins watched at the doorway. “...D...Dean...I’m…” 

“...I...…” Dean moved away in tears, he didn’t continue, scooping up Nathaniel from the doorway before he grabbed Nina’s hand and lead her away. He was tense, and it was obvious the fear on him. Castiel watched him go, as Castiel kept his back to Sam, as Sam looked away sadly. 

“...but you’re fine right?” Castiel spat out coldly, before he scoffed and walked away leaving Sam alone in the room following after Dean. 

_____________________________________________________________________

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 **Castiel’s POV**

 

“Dean!” Castiel called as he ran up to the car that started to back up from the driveway, Dean rolled down the window as instantly cupped his face in worry. “Are you alright?”

“I...just never...he has never talked to me like that….” Dean breathed still upset, it was visible on his face as he wiped away a tear with his thumb and let out a small laugh. “I think I’m just...because of...you know.” 

“Because of what?” Nina asked as Dean and Castiel ignored her snooping. 

“Are you okay?” Castiel asked seriously, Dean knew he was referring to them both. The baby and him. Dean rubbed his lower belly, comfortingly. 

“Yeah.” Dean sniffed nodding.

“He didn’t… _hurt_ you-” Castiel hesitated to ask.

“Cas.” Dean scoffed at the idea of it. 

“Dean, I had to know.” Castiel stated. “You’re my mate. I get your brother is going through a lot but my mate and children live there too. If he ever lays a hand on you-”

“He won’t.” Dean shook his head no.

“You said yourself, he has your father’s temper-” Castiel spoke, as Dean shut his mouth in a thin line. 

“Stop putting words in my mouth.” Dean hissed at him, as Castiel stared at him. “I said he has my father’s temperament. He keeps everything in till he bursts.” 

“Bursts? Dean, it’s not healthy. Look, I love him to death too but-” Castiel tried to get out but Dean was rolling up the window, and already backing up out of the driveway. “Dean! We need to talk about this-...Dean not in front of the-!...twins.” Castiel sighed when Dean’s middle finger pressed against the glass and Castiel could only shove his hands in his pockets, as he heard Nina giggle in absolute pleasure (or evil...Castiel wasn’t sure which statement was more accurate) at watching Dean use the middle finger.

_____________________________________________________________________

 

 

 

 

 

 

 **Castiel’s POV**

 

 

Castiel held Mason in his carrier, Mason hadn’t gone with Dean this morning like planned since he was still sleeping when Dean left to take the kids to school. Which Dean was volunteering at the twins school to help with the teacher since it was his one day he volunteered. Castiel looked down at Mason, who chewed on a teething toy giving Castiel a loving smile as he was rocked slightly by his movement. Mason was slowly warming up to Castiel which Castiel grew more and more in love with him each day. They were going closer and there were some times where Mason would let him hold him without crying. A least once a week it happened but when Mason had enough of him he would start hitting him and cry six times harder for Dean. 

Luckily Mason hadn’t started to talk yet and this outing was able to keep a secret from Dean. If he had the twins he couldn’t have just kept them distracted while he had some much needed...time. Besides the twins told Dean everything. It wouldn’t go smoothly if Dean found out Castiel’s secret, where he had been running off to when Dean was out. 

Castiel smiled to mason, as the front door to the house he now stood in front of opened. Castiel’s attention was shifted, as he gave a loving smile to the person inside. 

“Hey.” Castiel hummed, as the person moved the door opened wider and Castiel set mason and the bag of groceries on the floor inside before pulling the person in for a tight hug as the door shut behind them. 

_______________________________________________________________

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Dean’s POV**

 

Dean took off his jacket as he entered the house, god he was sweating. Being pregnant was like walking on venus, he swears. He was either too hot or too cold. 

“Cas?” Dean called as he opened the fridge, sticking his face into the fridge. First for the cold, now for the opportunity of snacks. Dean eyed the leftover cake from Castiel’s dinner thing he went to, before deciding he was taking it. He closed the fridge and grabbed a spoon happily digging into the moist chocolate. Dean closed his eyes contently, the baby loved chocolate. “CAS! WE ARE GOING TO BE LATE!” 

“He’s not here.” Sam’s voice made him jump, as Dean turned looking at his brother. “S-Sorry...”  
Sam lowered his voice like he did something wrong. 

“Jesus.” Dean laughed, the laugh comforted his brother. “You’re like a ninja in that thing.” 

“I try.” Sam joked. 

“Cake?” Dean offered moving to lean on the counter, digging into it.

“I’m good.” Sam breathed softly. “So...what are you guys going to be late to?”

“N-Nothing.” Dean lied, he wanted to bring up the pregnancy but...not when Sam was suffering. He didn’t want to...make his happiness being thrown in his brother’s face. Especially when Sam lost the love of his life after about ten years. “Where is he anyways? You said he was out?” 

“Yeah, he said he went grocery shopping….Took mason too.” Sam shrugged.

“Shopping?” Dean made a face. “Right now?” 

Today was suppose to be their baby's first ultrasound. Dean had reminded him all weekend, why would he decide to go now? Dean popped the cake into his mouth frowning, He even had asked for his volunteering to be cut short for this. The first ultrasound was scheduled the day after Sam’s accident, and obviously they didn’t make that one. Dean had rescheduled for what he was assuming the first month ultrasound, when things were less hectic. 

He really needed to go in this time, to make sure everything was going smoothly. These Ultrasounds were important and the only thing that was stopping Dean from hopping into a car like he did with the twins or when he found out he was pregnant with Mason was the fact Castiel wanted to be with him for everything. Castiel never was around for the boring months, where the only thing different was Dean’s cravings and lots of vomit.  
Dean pulled out his phone sending a quick text when a phone on the kitchen table went off. Dean visibly groaned, he was going to murder his stupid stupid husband. Dean moved away from the counter grabbing his phone, Dean eyed the phone which read that Dean had texted Castiel. 

“How long has he been gone?” Dean asked.

“No idea. Left a bit after you did.” Sam confessed, as Dean tapped the screen. Moving to check when Castiel last posted on his facebook when Dean was met with something that made him pause. “What?”

“...He put a password on his phone.” Dean mumbled as he eyed the notifications. “...He never-…”

  
Dean’s stomach turned as he read the text message, he...didn’t recognize this number. Why...did Castiel have a number he didn’t label? Why did he put a lock on his phone? Dean’s brain was going at the a thousand miles a minute when the front door opened and Dean slammed the phone back onto the counter. 

Castiel pushed the door open as he held Mason’s baby car seat, pausing when he noticed Dean was already home. 

“Hey babe.” Castiel smiled as he moved over to Dean pressing a quick kiss on Dean’s lips. Dean gave a half smile in some attempt to be normal, as Castiel looked at him with guilt. “I know I’m late, but we will still make it if we hurry. Have you been waiting long?”

“U-...Um no.” Dean let a breath as he shoved chocolate cake into his mouth as Castiel’s cellphone went off.

“Ah, that’s where I put it.” Castiel grabbed the phone, as he eyed the notifications. “I was wondering where it was. Ready?”

“Y-Yeah.” Dean nodded, putting the cake down, as he grabbed his own phone from the counter. They moved towards the door as Sam called out to Castiel. 

“...Hey, where are those groceries you went to get?” Sam called as Castiel paused, noticeably frozen. 

“...I-I...ended up not finding anything good so I just walked around.” Castiel lied, as Dean stared at him. “...Free samples and junk. Mason’s fav.” Dean nodded hesitantly as he shoved some more cake into his mouth. He couldn’t deal with this right now. 

“Okay…” Sam breathed. “Hey did you want me to watch mason?” 

“It’s alright.” Dean breathed before Castiel could speak, he...didn’t really want to be alone with Castiel right now. 

“See you when you get back, yeah?” Sam spoke as Dean hesitantly nodded before moving out the door Castiel was holding and left out the door.

_________________________________________________________________

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Dean’s pov**

 

 

“Hi Mason!” Becky smiled as Mason smiled at her, as she tickled his tummy in his stroller, before she turned looking at the two parents. “So I heard you two are expecting again.”

“Yeah, Last one.” Castiel laughed as he slid a hand up and down on Dean’s stomach not realizing the sad look Dean held as he stared at Castiel with worry. Who was the number? Why was Castiel’s cell phone locked? Dean’s brain was going a thousand miles a minute and Dean did not have any more cake to distract him. 

“Not aiming for five?” Becky teased. 

“Oh no, I don’t think we would make it.” Castiel laughed, as his words hit Dean harder than he expected.

“Y-Yes we would!” Dean choked out as the two looked at him. “W-We would make it.” 

“...Okay.” Castiel smiled at Dean confused, but Dean wasn’t talking about children. “I thought this was the last one?” 

“I-I mean, I-I’m just saying we always make it….together. Always been you and me.” Dean choked out some words as Castiel pressed a kiss to Dean’s nose at his silly omega. 

“Alright, so this is the baby’s first ultrasound?” Becky asked looking at their medical chart.

“Yeah, we had a family emergency that prevented us from going to the first appointment.” Castiel stated. 

“Okay, then let’s take a look.” Becky stated, as she moved to Dean, as Dean froze in place. “Lay down and relax like normal Dean.” Dean sat in fear, what if he wasn’t really pregnant? What if...his body faked it or he had a tumor? What if the home pregnancy tests were wrong and the jello screwed up the results? What if Castiel’s whole food thing was a fluke? Would Castiel leave him? Dean eyed Castiel with fear, as Castiel looked at him with concern. 

“Dean?” Castiel asked as Dean ignored his questioning voice and he laid down, lifting up his shirt. Trying to swallow down the nausea, as he felt becky slid the gel onto Dean’s stomach as Dean let out shaky breaths when the machine touched his belly. Dean squeezed his eyes shut in fear of her words.

“You guys were right, the baby is about a month and two weeks.” Becky mumbled as Dean opened his eyes, turning to the screen as Dean took in the small fetus on screen. Castiel’s eyes lit up in happiness as he took in the youngest child and his first ultrasound. “This is your first ultrasound this early right?” Dean was glad she was talking to Castiel because Dean stared at his baby. His baby. 

What if...Castiel was cheating? Was he...was unhappy in their relationship? Would he leave Dean alone with this baby? Would this baby grow up without Castiel? He couldn’t….raise four children by himself...He couldn’t. He had no job, only had a high school degree. He never pursued anything more because he loved being a stay at home dad. Being there the second their children opened their eyes, till they closed them again to sleep. He never missed a second of them….was it wrong to have?

Tears spilled out of his eyes as he tried to hide his whimpering sobs, Castiel turned to Dean at the smallest little whimper and moved to him.

“Awh Dean. It’s okay my love.” Castiel laughed, tears in his eyes for the baby. Not for the same reason as Dean. Dean felt Castiel pulling him into a hug as Dean held him back tightly afraid to let him go, as Dean’s eyes focused on the baby inside him worried for the future they would have.

__________________________________________________________________________

 

 

 

 

 

 

 **Dean’s POV**

 

Dean held Mason close, as he pressed kisses to the sleeping baby's face, who was content laying in Dean’s arms. Mason had a cold and wasn’t content otherwise. It had been three days since the ultrasound and Dean had...been keeping an eye on Castiel. Castiel hasn’t done anything….off. He was mostly hanging around Dean, contently laying next to him and rubbing the shit out of Dean’s belly. Which brought so much more comfort than Castiel realized. If Castiel was clinging to him, Dean could believe the texts were a wrong number, that he locked his phone to keep the twins from calling people long distance. As long as Castiel Cling to Dean and that beautiful ultrasound, Dean could believe anything. 

“I think it’s a girl.” Castiel breathed as Dean looked at him with a loving smile.

“You said that with Mason.” Dean stated. “And were wrong with the twins. You always wanted girls and you got one.” 

“My little princesses.” Castiel beamed pressing kisses on Dean’s belly. “Speaking of which, when can we tell them they will be having a little sister?”

“Um, how are you sure its a girl.” Dean laughed. “The baby hasn’t even decided itself what it wants to be.”

“I’m sure of it.” Castiel tapped on Dean’s belly. “Maybe this one will like more feminine things like dress up.” 

“Yeah, maybe. Since Nina has only ever wanted to play sports and destroy things since she was little.” Dean hummed.

“I just want one that will play dress up.” Castiel whined. 

“....are you still sore that she refuses to dress up as that disney princess costume you bought her two years ago?” Dean laughed.

“I think she will be SO cute as Merida! Yet she wanted to be a zombie!” Castiel cried. “She wants to be dead things every year!” 

“I remember when she wanted to be a Dead president lincoln after watching that vampire hunter movie.” Dean hummed.

“I just want one that will play with all those dolls we bought nina and she never placed with.” Castiel whined. Dean laughed, as he shut up as Mason fused lightly almost being woken from the laughter. Castiel glanced at his phone before he placed a kiss to Dean’s belly before he sat up. “I’m going out, i’ll be right back.” 

“Whe...Where are you going?” Dean asked, as Castiel slid his phone in his pocket.

“Um...to the bank. I’m just going to be right back.” Castiel gave a soft smile placing a kiss to Dean’s forehead and rubbed mason’s sleeping back before grabbing his keys and walking out. 

The twins laughter could be heard as they placed with Sam, Dean hesitantly stood as he heard the car start. 

“H-Hey sam, can you watch the twins, I’m going to take mason to get more medication.” Dean yelled as he got a okay from Sam who was laughing. Dean moved with mason grabbing his keys and following after cas.

___________________________________________________________________________

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Dean’s pov**

 

Dean watched Castiel walk up to the atm, and he let out a sigh. He was being ridiculous. He should have just believed Castiel. Why would he think Castiel was cheating on him? Castiel was the father of his children, and he was his mate. Castiel loved them to death. Dean let out a breath watching Castiel move away from the atm with what looked like a good amount of twenties. Maybe five hundred? 

“What are you doing with that?” Dean mumbled as he ducked down as Castiel got in his car and started to drive off. Should he follow? Dean trusted him...but. Dean started the car and followed after him.

___________________________________________________________________

 

 

 

 

 

 **Dean’s pov**

 

Dean watched Castiel pull up to a house, pulling in the drive way like he belonged there, he didn’t know this area at all and yet Castiel drove through it like he did. Dean let out a shaky breath, as he watched Castiel start walking up to the house but pause to fix a garden gnome on the way up. Nodding to himself, he ran up to the door, before knocking. The door opened, as Dean tried to catch who the person was but Castiel’s stupid body covered who. Castiel hugged them, before he walked in, and the door closed. 

Dean felt sick, and the tears filled his eyes...

Castiel...was cheating?

____________________________________________________________________

 

 

 

 

 

 

 **Castiel’s POV**

 

Castiel shrugged off his coat, as he set the cash on the table, instantly starting to tidy the house as the homeowner moved to check the fridge.

“That should be enough for a couple weeks, you can’t keep blowing up my phone because you’re lonely. Dean’s started to get suspicious.” Castiel stated. “I don’t want him finding out about this. It will only cause more problems-” 

Castiel paused as he heard hard thumps against the door, Castiel exchanged looks with the other person before moving to the door. Mud plastered against the glass of the front door, as Castiel blinked in surprise before pulling it open only to get a face full of mud. 

“YOU BASTARD!” Dean cried as he wiped his tears with the back of his hand before grabbing more mud. Castiel moved to Dean quickly, but Dean was already throwing mud and small rocks at him.

“D-Dean!” Castiel choked out, as Dean angrily tried to grab more mud, but Castiel grabbed his wrist as Dean instantly started to hit him hard.

“WE HAVE A FAMILY! A FUCKING BABY ON THE WAY!” Dean cried. “WHO IS THIS BITCH YOU’RE RISKING EVERYTHING FOR?! DO YOU LOVE HER?!”

“D-Dean?! What are you talking about?! Stop hitting me!” Castiel asked, as Dean tried to move past him, but Castiel blocked from him going past him. 

“I WANT TO SEE HER! I WANT TO SEE YOUR WHORE!” Dean screamed, as he literally tried to climb over Castiel. “HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO US?! TO OUR FAMILY?! I LOVE YOU AND YOU’RE SLEEPING WITH SOMEONE ELSE?!”

“What?! I’m NOT Cheating on you!” Castiel choked out in surprise. 

“Then who fucking lives here?!” Dean screamed in tears. “Who are you protecting?!”

“Dean?” A voice made Dean and Castiel turned to the doorway, as Dean’s assault slowly stopped, as he looked at the person in surprise. 

“....Gabriel?” Dean breathed, as Gabriel looked at him in shame, hiding slightly behind the door. Castiel looked down at shame at his lie. “...You told me you didn’t...know where he was…” Dean’s eyes moved to Castiel who couldn’t look at him. “Sams...suffering and...you...knew he was here?” 

Castiel didn't say anything as Dean scoffed in disbelief. Castiel knew how badly Sam was suffering and instead of making them confront each other and talk this out. Castiel hid Gabriel. Sam deserved that. Sam deserved a real goodbye and Dean believed Castiel when he said he didn’t know where his brother was. Castiel lied. Castiel...Dean shook his head as he turned to leave. 

“D-Dean.” Castiel reached out to grab Dean’s wrist, but Dean yanked his hand away.

“Don’t come home.” Dean breathed as tears spilled out of his eyes, as he looked into Castiel’s eyes. “...” Dean shook his head, and moved back to his car, not looking back once.


End file.
